Mia Mercado is the author of Weird but Normal and the forthcoming essay collection She’s Nice Though. Her writing has appeared in the New Yorker, the New York Times, and The Cut. She lives in Kansas City with her husband, dog, and tchotchkes.
Look, I never thought A-Rod would be the pinnacle of evolved adulthood, but here we are.
Justice for this perfectly fine present!
This is the type of event that can only be sprung upon your guests. I repeat: Do not give them *any* warning.
Do *NOT* tell my mom!!!!
Sweater weather is upon us. Is your body ready?
